I'm collecting underwear!
A great organization headed by Jane Goodall just received a grant providing sanitary napkins for girls in over 200 schools in Uganda.
Young women in Uganda miss at least one week of school every month because they do not have supplies for their periods. The grant covers sanitary napkins, but not underwear.
A mom friend at Froggy's preschool has taken it upon herself to collect 2300 pairs of underwear for these girls (age 13-17). It's hard to believe but most of these girls will drop out of school because of the simple fact they do not have underwear.
My goal is 100 pairs of undies for these girls. Please help me reach that goal. I'm going to hit Costco and get a couple ten-packs of Hanes-her-way! Email me and I will send you my address if you would like to send a pack of undies. Or send me a check and I'll pick up a pack for you! Thanks.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 04, 2010
Eight Years Later
Tomorrow is our 8th wedding anniversary.
It's strange to have an anniversary without a celebration, a birthday without cake, Christmas without lights.
Tomorrow will be like any other day, and nothing will be said. The elephant will be hidden before it's officially in the room. But we'll know that this was the day that promises were made, our families gathered, and our lives began.
As strange as it is, the way it turned out, isn't so bad. We are still here, living, breathing, loving Froggy. I think it's important not to throw the wedding toppers out with the bath water. There were good times, a wonderful wedding where two families came together in love. And of course Froggy.
I read somewhere that no matter how terrible the story, if the movie has a rewarding ending, people will walk away feeling like it was one of the best films they've ever seen. We are obsessed with happy endings, no matter how cheesy or contrite. But I'm going to concentrate on the happy beginning, and know that in real life there are always rewrites, a little editing and in the end, even if things don't turn out with the guy getting the girl, or happily ever after, life, real life goes on.
I happen to like movies with a twist. Happy endings make me uncomfortable because they are so forced; a man running to the airport before the plane leaves, a taxi that FOLLOWS THAT CAR, a wedding broken before the vows are read because someone speaks before holding their peace. Life doesn't work out that way because airport security won't let you pass the gate without a ticket, the taxi driver won't risk the speeding ticket, and the wedding must go on because everyone paid too much money for it not to. Life is messy. And in a way I'm glad it is.
This is not the life I thought I would lead. But here we are. My only wish for a happy ending would be that the decisions we make for Froggy are actually about her. That's it. That's all. Froggy happiness. Froggy health. Froggy love. The end.
It's strange to have an anniversary without a celebration, a birthday without cake, Christmas without lights.
Tomorrow will be like any other day, and nothing will be said. The elephant will be hidden before it's officially in the room. But we'll know that this was the day that promises were made, our families gathered, and our lives began.
As strange as it is, the way it turned out, isn't so bad. We are still here, living, breathing, loving Froggy. I think it's important not to throw the wedding toppers out with the bath water. There were good times, a wonderful wedding where two families came together in love. And of course Froggy.
I read somewhere that no matter how terrible the story, if the movie has a rewarding ending, people will walk away feeling like it was one of the best films they've ever seen. We are obsessed with happy endings, no matter how cheesy or contrite. But I'm going to concentrate on the happy beginning, and know that in real life there are always rewrites, a little editing and in the end, even if things don't turn out with the guy getting the girl, or happily ever after, life, real life goes on.
I happen to like movies with a twist. Happy endings make me uncomfortable because they are so forced; a man running to the airport before the plane leaves, a taxi that FOLLOWS THAT CAR, a wedding broken before the vows are read because someone speaks before holding their peace. Life doesn't work out that way because airport security won't let you pass the gate without a ticket, the taxi driver won't risk the speeding ticket, and the wedding must go on because everyone paid too much money for it not to. Life is messy. And in a way I'm glad it is.
This is not the life I thought I would lead. But here we are. My only wish for a happy ending would be that the decisions we make for Froggy are actually about her. That's it. That's all. Froggy happiness. Froggy health. Froggy love. The end.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Where I go.
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger." -the Buddha.
This quote hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks. I have been angry. I am angry. And it doesn't matter if I have a 'right' or am justified in my anger. It is all encompassing, it consumes my thoughts, it paints grey on the canvas of my day. It is ugly.
When Froggy and I are alone, I feel like myself again. I'm happy and joyful, motivated by love. I am me, content, silly, and self-sufficient, a little tired... okay alot tired, but at the end of the day we read stories in bed and snuggle and there is absolutely no place I would rather be. It is bliss.
After she falls asleep (and I do dishes, sweep, take out the garbage, let out the dog, boil nebs), I light candles, listen to music, read and write. I actually like being alone, more than I thought I ever would. There are no dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, tv/radio blaring, life is just ahhhh.
Normally, I am one to fill in the silences, to add words to the spaces, to cover the white with color. Silence and alone have always scared me, but now, now it is a blank page, a tale waiting to be written. And I am patient to put down the words. The story is unfolding, but quietly, in the pauses of life, the moment where we take a breath and imagine what will happen next.
This is where I need to be. I know people jump from divorce to dating, but I have no desire. I am in love with Froggy. My focus, my love, my heart is with her. And nothing could make me happier.
Anger is not healthy. But it is here. It is disappointment, frustration, sorrow, worry, sadness, loss, hurt and betrayal. My anger is 10 years of work, of showing up, of being there 100 percent and being met with apathy. It isn't fair. And I realize life isn't fair, but I'm not okay with it. I don't understand, because I always thought that if gave everything, and believed hard enough, life would work out. I thought we were in it together. But we weren't. One day I was under water and my oxygen tank failed, and I swam and scrambled and drowned but finally made it to the surface. And here I am. Angry that it didn't turn out the way I'd wanted, but alive, still floating in this beautiful sea of life, looking up towards the sun and waiting for the wind, to push me in the direction I am supposed to go.
This quote hit me like a ton of proverbial bricks. I have been angry. I am angry. And it doesn't matter if I have a 'right' or am justified in my anger. It is all encompassing, it consumes my thoughts, it paints grey on the canvas of my day. It is ugly.
When Froggy and I are alone, I feel like myself again. I'm happy and joyful, motivated by love. I am me, content, silly, and self-sufficient, a little tired... okay alot tired, but at the end of the day we read stories in bed and snuggle and there is absolutely no place I would rather be. It is bliss.
After she falls asleep (and I do dishes, sweep, take out the garbage, let out the dog, boil nebs), I light candles, listen to music, read and write. I actually like being alone, more than I thought I ever would. There are no dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor, tv/radio blaring, life is just ahhhh.
Normally, I am one to fill in the silences, to add words to the spaces, to cover the white with color. Silence and alone have always scared me, but now, now it is a blank page, a tale waiting to be written. And I am patient to put down the words. The story is unfolding, but quietly, in the pauses of life, the moment where we take a breath and imagine what will happen next.
This is where I need to be. I know people jump from divorce to dating, but I have no desire. I am in love with Froggy. My focus, my love, my heart is with her. And nothing could make me happier.
Anger is not healthy. But it is here. It is disappointment, frustration, sorrow, worry, sadness, loss, hurt and betrayal. My anger is 10 years of work, of showing up, of being there 100 percent and being met with apathy. It isn't fair. And I realize life isn't fair, but I'm not okay with it. I don't understand, because I always thought that if gave everything, and believed hard enough, life would work out. I thought we were in it together. But we weren't. One day I was under water and my oxygen tank failed, and I swam and scrambled and drowned but finally made it to the surface. And here I am. Angry that it didn't turn out the way I'd wanted, but alive, still floating in this beautiful sea of life, looking up towards the sun and waiting for the wind, to push me in the direction I am supposed to go.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Iowa State Fair 2010
Now THIS is a turkey leg. Cro-Magnon Froggymama!
This was taken at the new birthing center at the fair, where you can watch piglets, calves, goat kids and sheep gittin' borned! 
The fattest hog! Over 1100 lbs.
The highlight was watching the chicks hatch. One chick after hatching, helped his friend out by cracking on his egg.
Every year they build a giant sandcastle. This year's theme "Star Boars." If you don't like kitch, you won't like the fair. I happen to LOVE this stuff!
We spent 2 hours in the bunny barn. Gee, ya think someone wants a rabbit?
She petted every single rabbit. There were only about a thousand.
True to Iowa fair weather, it was 100 and humid.
Froggy eating a wonderbar. She ate the entire thing and this kid never eats all her food. Maybe a diet of fair food will be the cure-all to her weight issues. Mmmm fair food.
She milked a cow on her first try!
A giant pumpkin and an even bigger twit!
Everything at the fair is giant! Even the slide.
Auntie Honka and the Frog.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Froggyisms and Body Talk
Froggy: My friend at preschool has a car that's a Volcan-wagon.
While getting ready for bed the other night I was having a tough time with her g-tube. The adaptor wasn't fitting and it came apart and formula went everywhere. I put a towel down because I was too tired to change the sheets. An hour later I hear her calling and she is lying in bed in a pool of formula. After finding a new adaptor and taping the hell out of it, replacing the first towel with a second because now I was even more tired, Froggy says to me:
Froggy: I want a plain body.
FM: What do you mean a playing body?
Froggy: No a plaaaain body.
FM: What's a plain body?
Froggy: Without the mic-key. I just want a normal body. I want my normal body again.
I hugged her and told her I know and she fell asleep. Then I went into the livingroom and had a good cry.
I can't believe that at the age of five she is so aware of what 'normal' is. We were desperate to have her gain weight and so thrilled with her progress, I'd almost forgotten that she will have to live with this thing, this piece of plastic that pushes her shirt out and sets her apart. Her preschool friends love her and no one has said anything unkind. In fact her little friend A. jumped up and down and said, "I wanna see your mic-key!," when we got back from the hospital.
We made a decision for her body. We decided that she would have this hole in her belly. And even though I believe it was the best decision, it seems unfair to make a decision about someone else's body. She wanted a plain one and we give her this. I hope someday she'll understand.
While getting ready for bed the other night I was having a tough time with her g-tube. The adaptor wasn't fitting and it came apart and formula went everywhere. I put a towel down because I was too tired to change the sheets. An hour later I hear her calling and she is lying in bed in a pool of formula. After finding a new adaptor and taping the hell out of it, replacing the first towel with a second because now I was even more tired, Froggy says to me:
Froggy: I want a plain body.
FM: What do you mean a playing body?
Froggy: No a plaaaain body.
FM: What's a plain body?
Froggy: Without the mic-key. I just want a normal body. I want my normal body again.
I hugged her and told her I know and she fell asleep. Then I went into the livingroom and had a good cry.
I can't believe that at the age of five she is so aware of what 'normal' is. We were desperate to have her gain weight and so thrilled with her progress, I'd almost forgotten that she will have to live with this thing, this piece of plastic that pushes her shirt out and sets her apart. Her preschool friends love her and no one has said anything unkind. In fact her little friend A. jumped up and down and said, "I wanna see your mic-key!," when we got back from the hospital.
We made a decision for her body. We decided that she would have this hole in her belly. And even though I believe it was the best decision, it seems unfair to make a decision about someone else's body. She wanted a plain one and we give her this. I hope someday she'll understand.
Thursday, September 09, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Birthday Girl!
I guess "five" doesn't necessarily mean mature. 
One of Froggy's best buds The Beeman. 
It's Great-grandma B.'s birthday too!
Our little Frog turned five today. We had a small birthday dinner with family and a couple friends. She designed her own cake, as you can see. It's a giraffe in a row boat. That's what she wanted, a giraffe rowing a boat.
Froggy had a great day and said that this was one of the best days of her life. That is music to this mama's ears. I can't believe my baby is five.
Froggy had a great day and said that this was one of the best days of her life. That is music to this mama's ears. I can't believe my baby is five.
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