She's ALIVE!!!

It's been a while since I've spilled my guts.

Sometimes when writing, I think about the bloody visual of words; guts exposed, an open rib cage on a table, a disgusting but honest display of our insides; the innards of a person; a life, a marriage, a divorce.

I see a surgery where parts are taken out and placed in a kidney-shaped pan. Scissors and clamps are passed around, quiet murmurs of 'hand me this' and 'hand me that,' with some blame and bleeding, but in the end, the patient taking in new breath. Chest rising and falling. Day after day. Because it's necessary.

Catgut sews up the wounds of a sentence, piecing together the fragments of a paragraph, a life. And somehow, somehow when I look down at the table of all the pieces apart, a person suspended above their own surgery, the body dissected, I see the whole story.

Words thrown into the air - a Scrabble game knocked over, letters falling to the floor, forming a jabberwocky that suddenly makes sense. And I know.

What took place in the subtext of our anatomy, what fell apart.

Organs starved of oxygen. Pieces, although scattered, are still alive, red, beating, In a new body, a new life. Miraculously, the patient survives.

For the first time. In a long time. I am excited. To wake up. To take in a deep breath of this new life. Whole, pink and thriving.