Monday, October 04, 2010

Eight Years Later

Tomorrow is our 8th wedding anniversary.

It's strange to have an anniversary without a celebration, a birthday without cake, Christmas without lights.

Tomorrow will be like any other day, and nothing will be said. The elephant will be hidden before it's officially in the room. But we'll know that this was the day that promises were made, our families gathered, and our lives began.

As strange as it is, the way it turned out, isn't so bad. We are still here, living, breathing, loving Froggy. I think it's important not to throw the wedding toppers out with the bath water. There were good times, a wonderful wedding where two families came together in love. And of course Froggy.

I read somewhere that no matter how terrible the story, if the movie has a rewarding ending, people will walk away feeling like it was one of the best films they've ever seen. We are obsessed with happy endings, no matter how cheesy or contrite. But I'm going to concentrate on the happy beginning, and know that in real life there are always rewrites, a little editing and in the end, even if things don't turn out with the guy getting the girl, or happily ever after, life, real life goes on.

I happen to like movies with a twist. Happy endings make me uncomfortable because they are so forced; a man running to the airport before the plane leaves, a taxi that FOLLOWS THAT CAR, a wedding broken before the vows are read because someone speaks before holding their peace. Life doesn't work out that way because airport security won't let you pass the gate without a ticket, the taxi driver won't risk the speeding ticket, and the wedding must go on because everyone paid too much money for it not to. Life is messy. And in a way I'm glad it is.

This is not the life I thought I would lead. But here we are. My only wish for a happy ending would be that the decisions we make for Froggy are actually about her. That's it. That's all. Froggy happiness. Froggy health. Froggy love. The end.


Beverly said...

Thinking of you. Life does not always have the "happy ending" that we think will be. I ended up without a partner through my husband's sudden death in an accident. Yours is so different. I've often thought that divorce is a lot like death, but they're still there.

You are a strong lady, and you have Froggy!

Anonymous said...

gosh this is so well said...visual. from the heart. jcn

Anonymous said...

ending? this is an end to nothing, but a beginning. He will always be the father and you wil always be the mother...and froggy will always be at the center of that....the death of a marriage could never break that union. remember that. adn when you both find someone else, that union will still be there just as strong. your marriage was only a part of the story of your family. and the story WILL have a happy ending. If froggy can have parents that love each other, not in love with each other, but loving each other as a family, this story will most definitely have a happy ending. i know it will.
-sissy(excuse my poor grammar)

Mimi said...

Well said....sometimes I wish I had thought that way going through my divorce 23 years ago...but I was hurt so in turn I wanted to hurt back and did....and in the end who wins? I am not friends with my ex at all.....don't even children are grown now one is 31 and one is 27 and they turned out ok and that's all that matters.....:0)

Infidel Rooster said...

Hope all is well. And well said second Anonymous.