Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Come One, Come All

Remember when you made a face as a kid, and your great aunt said, "be careful, or your face will stick that way?"

Well it's true. Froggydaddy and Sissy Snuggiekins are now forever stuck as ugly freaks of nature. I'm thinking about taking them on the carnival circuit. I've always wanted to live in a trailer, while mastering the art of "duck pond" and "skee ball".

We'll eat cotton candy and corn dogs for dinner, ride the ferris wheel before bed, and totally abandon all dental responsibilities for life. It will be a monster truck existence, with bad country music and Metallica blaring out of loud speakers, even during nap time. For chores, Froggy will clean up after the elephants, and when she complains, we'll shout (without any teeth, of course), "It'll put hair on your chest, girlie. Now go get Froggymama another corndog." At this point, I will be the 1200 pound woman, but miraculously Froggydaddy will remain tall and skinny. We'll be the real life Jack Sprat and his very fat wife. They'll have to cart me around in a whale net.

And when Froggy starts dating a wolfman or lobsterguy, we'll be so proud of how far we've come, and look fondly back on how our life as carnies all began with a single picture. Yes, we're on our way. Five bucks for three pingpong balls and you too can win the big prize - a giant Velvet Elvis Painting, or blow-up Bart Simpson doll. Come one, come all!

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