Big Money

This year at the Cystic Fibrosis Great Strides Walk, our little team raised a whopping $25,234.27.

Wow, wow, wow!!! I'm so proud. Talk about a dedicated team of Froggy-lovers. There's still more money coming in, and we're doing another fundraiser in July.

Thank you everyone for contributing and raising the funds. We're one step closer to the cure!

Froggy Moments

Some adorable Froggy moments, probably only entertaining for the diehard Froggylovers:

Tonight she wanted to be held while I made dinner and it was just an impossible task. As I was about to pry her from my body, she buried her head in my neck and said, "oh honey." So I made the tortellini with one hand.

When Froggy sneezes, she says, "bless you," to herself. If she sneezes twice, she says 'bless you' twice.

While making lunch, Buddy comes running into the kitchen, desperately trying to escape our puppy-crazed baby who is smacking him around while shouting, "good boy Buddy, good boy Buddy!"

Mommy: Froggy, what's the kitty say?

Froggy: Meow. Meow, meoooowwww.

Mommy: What's the owl say?

Froggy: Hoo, hoo.

Mommy: What's the wolf say?

Froggy: Woof, hooowwwwwwl!

Mommy: What's the funny baby say?

Froggy: Ha, ha!

Yesterday, while doing dishes I turned around to see my fearless babe tap-dancing on the kitchen table. When I approached with a serious mommy-face, she picked up an avocado, held it up and said, "Cado?" The little stinker changed tactics and it threw me. I laughed, forgot about the tapdancing, and now she knows I am so easy.

Froggy is very clean - a typical Virgo. She loves pointing out just how dirty our apartment is, by picking up chunks of cat hair, a piece of cracker, or fuzzy, handing it to me and saying, "ewwww," very knowingly like, "I just thought you should be aware of the fact that you're raising a child in this mess. Get the broom lady, and get busy."

Froggy can count to three and she likes saying that she has two eyes, and two ears, and two knees. She has three lambie blankets and when they're all together, she says, "one, two, free mimi's." She's a genius right? It's not just because I'm her mom?

Last night, Froggy woke up, sat straight up in bed, and said, "Elmo," and went back to sleep. She was dreaming about Elmo. I love that.

FD has a pair of dress shoes. It's his only pair, and he's never worn them in front of her. Froggy put both feet in them and said, "papa!" She equated dress shoes with my dad, the only guy she's ever seen not wearing sneakers or sandals. And we haven't been in Iowa since March. The fact that she made this connection blew me away.

Froggy tried putting a leash on Buddy, and when he ran away, she said, "c'mer Buddy, c'mer." And after our walk, when Buddy refused to walk up the stairs to our apt, Froggy looked Buddy right in the eyes, slapped her leg and said, "COME BUYYEEE, COME!" It was so bossy and was one of those moments when I saw her as a mini-me. A mini-bossy-mama. Uh, oh.

The other day, FD was giving me a hug and Froggy pried us apart and said, "my mommy." I guess Freud was wrong.

And lastly, Froggy had her first full-throttle toddler tantrum. She was in the stroller and wanted to walk. Usually I let her, but with the dog and stroller, I couldn't handle her wandering ways. So she wailed for ten minutes, her body arched over the side, hysterically sobbing and saying, "walk, walk, walk." Grandma W mentioned about a week ago that we should get one of those kid-leashes, and FD was opposed, saying that it wasn't natural for a child to be on a leash, and psychologically, what would that do to her? She wouldn't learn boundaries naturally, but would rely on a leash to hold her back from things, like a dog. When we returned from the miserable walk, I found Froggy face down in the dog's water, lapping it up like a puppy. Maybe FD's right. She's already waaaay to close to the animals, and a leash might seal the deal on her obsession to join the pack and become a Pomeranian.

A Day in the Life of Froggy

Mommy reads me stories before naptime. Buddy takes his a little early.

I help Mommy unfold the clothes.

Here's the rule. If it lands in my lap, on the chair or floor, it's Buddy's.

He made up the rules, not me. Mommy calls him the land shark.

Mommy bought these shoes in a pathetic attempt to start jogging.

I hate to see them go to waste, so my 'mimi's' and I run laps around the house.

The mimi's are my lamb blankets. I can not sleep, eat or play without them. I rub and suck on their ears. Mommy says they stink, but I think they smell like a little slice of heaven.

Beautiful Topanga

It is no dream of mine,

To ornament a line;

I cannot come nearer to God and Heaven

Than I live to Walden even.

I am its stony shore,

And the breeze that passes o'er;

In the hollow of my hand

Are its water and its sand,

And its deepest resort

Lies high in my thought.

- Thoreau

Great Strides

The silliest little Froggy in the world.

J and S walking the walk and talking the talk.

Thumbletina, Froggymama and Froggy looking very silly in our amphibian attire.

You guys better walk faster! This is for the cure, ya know!

Buddy is a big contributor to CF research.

So far this year he's donated 1 million puppy kisses.

Thumbletina and Cousin Pinky relaxing after the big walk.

Froggy and her boyfriend "Jazz"

The Amazing Team Froggy's Legs!

I know I say this all the time, but we really do have the most wonderful friends and family! Whenever I think those around us just couldn't do more, they do. This year was our second Great Strides Walk and we raised over $23,000. And more money is still coming in. Our goal was $25,000 and we just might make it.

Our friends and family in Iowa also walked in Great Strides. My dad sold tomato and pepper plants that he grew, and my sister baked home-made doggy biscuits and sold them at my dad's vet clinic. I'm not sure how much they raised, but I'm sure between Iowa and Cali, those who love Froggy supplied researchers with a thousand petri dishes and a few hours of research. (each hour of research costs about $12,000!).

It is so inspiring to get together with other moms and dads who are going through the same thing and see how their kids are healthy, happy and living 'normal' lives.

I can't thank you all enough for your donations, fundraising, work, help, love, prayers, thoughts, food, cards, emails, and support. I know it makes a difference directly to Froggy's health and happiness. It takes a village to save a child. Thank you for being our village!

We puppysat Lance - Great Froggygrandma's greyhound in Laguna over the weekend. He's a very gentle dog and patiently tolerated Froggy's teasing with the bone. She thinks it's hilarious to show the dog a treat, let him come very close, even lick the treat, and then run away squealing and giggling, saying "Puppies, puppies!!!" It was nice to get out of the city, but being in an un-babyproofed house is a little like walking an elephant through a lightbulb store. I don't know how many times FD and I yelled, "Don't!" or "Stop" or "Noooo, for the love of God!"

Traveling with Froggy's meds, nebulizers, has become second nature. FD and I are a great team, packing all the essentials. But when we left on Sunday, we forgot to pack Buddy! Poor guy. We left without him, and the security guard at the bottom of the hill said, "did you forget somebody?" Great-GrandmaFroggy had called down to remind us that our first baby was still hanging with his cousin Lance.

Totally unrelated, I have to brag a little. I am basking in the glow of my clean hardwood floors. Humor me, but I get excited about the little things. Aunt "N" and Uncle "R" gave us two housecleanings for Christmas. I've never had anyone clean for me and I thought I would be nervous having a stranger scrub my dirt. But oh no, it was wonderful!

I can't tell you how great it feels to walk down the hall without stepping on something crunchy or picking up a tumbleweed of cat hair on my socks. Tomorrow the house will be messy again, but for now, I'm living in the moment of lemon Pledge and Murphy's oil soap bliss.

It's Debbie Downer

(theme song)
You're enjoying your day
Everything's going your way
Then along comes Debbie Downer.
Always there to tell you 'bout a new disease
A car accident or killer bees
You'll beg her to spare you, "Debbie, Please!"
But you can't stop Debbie Downer!

Have you seen this skit on SNL? Debbie Downer is the character at a dinner party who has to bring up statistics about really depressing epidemics, wars, and can not let anyone enjoy their meal without bringing up the fact that there are people STARVING in Bangladesh.

That's me right now. Debbie Downer.

For two weeks we were all sick. Froggy had a virus and cried non-stop for seven days, without eating. FD and I had the flu, and had no energy to deal with a sick baby. We are stressed out about how we are going to support ourselves while FD is in school, and a lot of other stuff that I can't get into.

Realistically, I know we are so incredibly blessed to have our amazing family and friends, a healthy girl, and in terms of the rest of the world, we are rich because we have three meals a day and a roof over our head. But this stress is taking it's toll.

A week ago Sunday, we were driving to Urgent Care to see why Froggy was so miserable. While driving, we passed a cafe where a couple was having breakfast, reading the paper and smiling over their morning paper and coffee. I was completely jealous. Here we were, about to sit in a pediatric waiting room for two hours for our doc to say that there is nothing she can do because it's a virus, so just go home and suffer some more, while these people were enjoying a worry-free breakfast. I coveted their carefree sausages, eggs and pancakes, their espresso and leisurely perusal of the movie and book reviews of the LA Times. I suddenly wanted to exchange lives with these complete strangers who appeared to have absolutely no problems whatsoever! Do you know how long it's been since I read the paper? A book? A pamphlet? Right now my life consists of cleaning, cooking, giving meds, treatments, walks, picking up dog, cat, baby poop, grocery shopping, fundraising, working my part-time job, running errands and desperately trying to be a good wife and mama, and failing miserably.

I wanted to be that couple who shared their eggs with one fork and finished the Sunday crossword without the dictionary. This is a tough time. I know things will get better. They have to. And Froggy is back to her adorable self and I feel guilty for wishing my life different. It is all perspective. I know this in my rational brain. We are lucky, lucky, lucky. And Froggy is the biggest gift in the world. But I'm weak and sometimes wish for a carefree breakfast of laughs, orange juice, and eggs over easy.

Happy Mother's Day

Pictures to come, but for now a poem for my Froggymama.

Grandfroggymama

I didn't know
how much
my mother loved me -

until my own daughter
was born and
lifted her arms in the air
the size of the universe
as if to say

"this much"

Sick Little Tadpole

Poor Froggy has Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease.

She's one unhappy little tadpole and we've had 3 sleepless nights.

Friday night, she wouldn't eat FD's killer eggs, so we knew something was up. Saturday and Sunday were a scary blur of forcing liquids down her throat with a syringe. The virus causes blisters on the back of the throat, so it hurts to swallow.

During the night, she drank a bottle of pedialyte and today, she's taking liquids on her own. And this morning she ate some oatmeal. Our poor girl is on the road to recovery, but still feeling bad.

Yesterday, on a walk, she did a face plant into the pavement and suffered a bloody nose. When I picked her up, she didn't want to be comforted and kept running down the sidewalk, crying, but still running. That's my girl!

FD and I are exhausted. And I missed the event on Sunday, where I was going to read my essay to an audience for the "My Mommy Moment." The woman running the event read the essay and called me on her cell phone, so I could hear the applause. So sweet.

Send good thoughts for a full recovery!

Seven, No Eight Things You Don't Know About Froggymama

First, the rules:

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to blog about their seven things and post the rules as well. At the end of your post, choose 7 people to tag and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! OK, here we go....

1. I can juggle, and I was once a mime, for which FD loves to make fun of me. I adore Marcel Marceau who once said, “Do not the most moving moments of our lives find us all without words?” I met him once and he was ironically, a big talker. Charlie Chaplin is also a hero of mine and "The Kid" makes me sob, no matter how many times I've seen it. It's funny that as a writer, I prefer art forms without words.

2. I drove a school bus and campus bus in college, and really loved the power that came with being above everyone else on the road (even though I would never drive an SUV or gas guzzler). It was mindless, repetitive and I could listen to music. What's better than that?

3. I have HORRIBLE taste when it comes to television shows. I love the E. True Hollywood Stories, Lifetime Movies, and yes, even American Idol. I know, I know. It's gross. FD and I watch "Antiques Roadshow" but I'd rather watch the Dateline Murder Mystery, or a rerun of "Three's Company." Yeah, it's that bad.

4. In college, I was part of a Dead Poets Society, where we all met in the woods, built a fire and read our bad prose about classes and young love. I adored everyone in the group. It wasn't pretentious or about showing off, and the poetry was real and funny. We drank Boones Farm Strawberry wine, recited Yeats, and afterwards, the boys peed on the fire, and we all took the bus home. And it was probably the best time in my life.

5. As a kid, I knew when people were going to die before they did. My grandparents, friends of the family, and animals too. I think I've lost the ability, and I'm happy about that.

6. When I was seven, I said a prayer asking God, that if I had any control over my fate, I'd prefer a roller coaster over a merry-go-round life. Oh, how I'd like to take that one back!

7. I'm somewhat fluent in American Sign Language and miss the language and deaf culture. Sometimes I dream in ASL and crave the language, like an old friend. It's beautiful like a dance, or song, woven into air, expressing more than words ever could.

I've decided to add one more, just cause.

8. I love the smell of a theatre -saw dust, burnt gels, a fresh coat of paint. When I walk into a theatre, I feel like I'm exactly where I should be, home.

As far as tagging people, I don't know enough bloggers, so I choose, Mieke, Dutchmac, and Thumbletina.

A Little Light Reading

If anyone asks why the bookshelf is empty, say, "hasn't that bookshelf always been empty?"

No, don't act surprised, you'll blow our cover! We know nothing. nothing!

Froggy's best friend "Hummingbird" came over today and they decided they'd outgrown Dr. Seuss and were ready for "The Heart is a Lonely Hunter" and "The Prophet." Ya know, a little light reading. Just as I was about to declare Froggy and Hummingbird as child prodigies, we walked to the park, where they promptly ate sand. And then we realized they are just adventurous readers...who eat sand.