Sunday, November 23, 2008

A few months ago, I submitted this piece to the magazine The Sun. Well... it didn't get published, so I thought I'd post it again, so you can all say, "that magazine sucks," or "they don't know what they're missing," or "maybe your submission got lost," and then I'll feel better. The topic was
"Finding Out." Feel free to stroke my ego.


Finding Out
by Froggymama

When the call came, I was alone with my four-month-old daughter. She instinctively knew something was wrong, and wailed with me as the doctor explained over the phone why she hadn’t gained weight in two months, why she was anemic, and why her skin tasted like she’d been dipped in the salty sea. The doc was calm, chatty even, making small talk while I fumbled through the house, looking for a pen and paper, to write down the results of the rest of her life. He must have felt that if he kept me on the phone, he could somehow prevent it from being real, from sinking in. With nothing left to say, he asked if I would be alright. My baby was screaming and the floor suddenly felt like one of those bouncy houses parents rent for a child’s birthday party. I was dizzy and drunk with the knowledge that our worst fears, the one thing I had prayed wouldn’t be true, couldn’t be true, was now written on a post-it note. Somehow, I managed to get out the words, “We’ll be fine,” even though I was sure we would never be fine again. I called my husband, my sister, my parents, and my best friend. Their guttural sobs on the other end of the line made it real. It wasn’t a dream. We would never wake from this.

I stood at the screen door, waiting for someone to come, to open the door, wrap their arms around me and say, “Everything will be okay.” And they all came, one by one; saying the only thing you can say at a time like this, “At least now you know.”

8 comments:

Beverly said...

Weeping, I understand.

fleetfeet said...

Don't give up! This story needs to be told. You have a powerful way with words and you are very talented. Yes, that magazine stinks. Let me know when and where it is published and we will be the first to obtain it in print!

Angela said...

Why they wouldn't publish this is beyond me! Idiots! I am going to link to it on my blog for everyone (well, the 15 or so friends and family members that read my blog) to see.

Anonymous said...

geesh...their loss. i agree with fleetfeet! don't give up on it. beautifully written as always. jcn

Infidel Rooster said...

Great piece, FM. I was particularly struck by the line, "I was dizzy and drunk with the knowledge that our worst fears, the one thing I had prayed wouldn’t be true, couldn’t be true, was now written on a post-it note."

It's a sledge hammer. In a good way;)

Megs said...

Wow, what an excellent writing piece. So descriptive. Thanks for sharing!

Megan (Angela's sister)

Rach said...

Your writing is so thoughtful and powerful. I always find myself on the verge of tears when I read it.

Lydia said...

Major Ego stroke. Amazing article, has much emotion, definitely know what that felt like. Personally, I had sunk to the floor and layed on the carpet for what felt like forever.

Oh yeah, that ego thing, "That Magazine does not know what their missing" ;)