Sunday, May 10, 2009

Imperfect Moms

One imperfect mom, one imperfect kid.
Asserting her magical powers for good and sometimes evil.

Sticking a maxi pad to herself.

I'd like to dedicate this Mother's Day to all the imperfect moms...

Here's to you, because you make me feel okay...

Here's to the mom whose kid is sporting a rat's nest bedhead to the park. I like you.

Here's to the mom who lets her child dress in tutu's with overalls, in highheels and purses, in outfits so mismatched --it looks like you brought your three-foot baglady to the park.

Here's to the mom who is too busy to send out 'thank you' letters, too numb at the end of the day to switch from day clothes to pajamas. Here's to the moms who have forgotten to brush teeth. Here's to the mom who looked at their dirty kid and said, "When was your last bath? What's today... Wednesday?"

Here's to the mom who makes Easy Mac, who doesn't cut the crusts off, who has a dirty bathroom. Here's to the moms who sometimes yell, who spanked once and immediately cried afterwards. Here's to the moms who have dropped the f-bomb in front of their linguistically spongy kid. Here's to the moms who bicker with your spouse and who drink a glass of wine when their toddler has a melt down.

Here's to the mom who wonders what it's all about, and goes to bed at night knowing that in twenty years her child will be discussing her in therapy. Here's to the moms who turn on cartoons so they can take a shower, or go to the bathroom uninterrupted.

Here's to the moms who bake from the box, rather than scratch. Here's to the moms who have ever had a screaming toddler stand in the shopping cart at Target with their lip out and arms crossed. Here's to the mom who has felt the judgement from parents with perfect little angels. Here's to the moms who have crayon drawings, like toddler hieroglyphics on their walls, and stained furniture, who have nothing new and therefore nothing to ruin.

Here's to the moms who read all the discipline books and still have 'unruly' children, here's to the moms who have kids that just "take off," that pee in the backyard, that say things in public like, "Why is that man so fat?," and "I can see his butt crack."

Here's to the moms who don't have a dishwasher, or maid, or laundry room, and here's to the moms who do. Here's to the moms who work, who stay home, who give and give and give until they are empty vessels watching reruns of Law and Order at night.

Here's to the moms who go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. Here's to the moms who have messy closets and dusty shelves. Here's to the moms who haven't shaved their legs since 1972.

Here's to the moms who read, who read to their children, who teach love, who hug as much as scold, who understand that a tantrum is a necessary part of growing up - and so is that glass of wine.

Here's to the moms who have pow wow's and marching bands in their living room, who make tents and do puzzles, who build skyscrapers out of stuffed animals, who will do anything dorky or insane to get a laugh out of their sourpuss toddler. Here's to the moms who would rather their child have messy hair, than ruin the mood. Here's to the moms who sing and dance with their children, who stop the dishes and laundry for a good snuggle. Here's to the moms who can't wrap packages in pretty paper and bows, but can give their child their time. Here's to the moms whose patience has run out, who cries because she feels she is messing everything up, here's to that mom... because you aren't.


Here's to the mom who isn't perfect. And here's to the mom whose child isn't perfect either. There are a lot more of you than you think. Happy Mother's Day to you. Because motherhood isn't a Gap commercial or Hallmark card. And children, just like life are messy. Here's to the mom who fails at perfection, but finds perfection in the messiness of life and motherhood.

15 comments:

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Here's to you...for writing a beautiful poignant post! I got a little emotional reading it.

Hope you had a wonderful mother's day...

fleetfeet said...

Oh, that was beautiful. Thank you for making me feel okay! Happy Mother's Day to you. Cheers!

Pam said...

Nice!

DutchMac said...

From one inferior mom to another, thank you for glorifying our inadequacies. It's nice to know others are spectacular failures, too. :-)

xoxoxoxo

Cara said...

This was beautiful, Elise. I hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day.

Angela said...

As I was reading this, I was going, "check, check, check...". I've done about 3/4 of the things on that list. And this post made me feel way better about it!

Courtney said...

Thank You for that post....It just proves I am not the only imperfect mother with imperfect children! Thanks again & Hope your Mothers' Day was the best!

Anonymous said...

I've said it before, I'll say it again, you are such an amazing writer! Thank you!

tdraxler said...

Oh my goodness, this was perfect! This really should be published somewhere. I hope you're submitting it.

I'll be sending a link to this to all my mommy friends. Hope that's ok.

And, here's to you, too!

Tami
mom to Emily 3 1/2 w/CF

JaneP-D said...

froggymama,

I'd like to talk to you about an event coming up called More Than A Mama and I'm hoping you'll participate. I cannot for the life of me, however, figure out how to e-mail you from your blog. It's probably painfully obvious but if you have a sec would you please e-mail me? mejane1@earthlink.net

Jane

Miss Nonni said...

Yes, Froggy Mama-
Please come to Jane's event on TUESDAY, May 26th in the evening. It's in Silver Lake. It will be fun and I would be thrilled to hear another of your stories!

Lydia said...

Wow, that was awesome!

Mish said...

Love this. So true and so profound x

Beverly said...

What a great post. I read it the other day, but I didn't take the time to leave a comment. You are a great writer, FM

Anonymous said...

You are simply amazing. I love knowing you. Now go write some more!!!
-your Iowa CF mom with the bad dye job and the Asian food addiction