Monday, February 05, 2007

I Don't Need No Stinkin' Vegetables

An imagined play between Froggymama and Froggy. It's entitled:

I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' VEGETABLES!

or the alternative title

TU MAMA, THE SUCKER



Froggy
I am not, I repeat, I am NOT eating my vegetables.

Froggymama
Mommy loves vegetables.

Froggy
Then you eat them.

Froggymama
Kiwi, do you like kiwi?

Froggy
Depends.

Froggymama
On what?

Froggy
What's in it for me.

Froggymama
Health, a good diet, strong bones.

Froggy
Kiwi won't give me strong bones, that's calcium. You think I was born yesterday, lady?

Froggymama
How about avocado, you love avocado.

Froggy
Not today.

Froggymama
Why not?

Froggymama
It's not really an avocado kind of day. Ya know?

Froggymama
What do you want to eat?

Froggy
I'd like to start with a watercress and walnut salad in a light raspberry vinagrette. We'll then move on to seared Alaskan Salmon, not Pacific or farm-raised, ALASKAN!, drizzled with a cucumber dill sauce, and a nice sourdough baguet for dipping. From there, let's dine on slightly braised white asparagus in rice vinegar, and a couscous raisin side, with just a touch of mint.

Froggymama
Anything else?

Froggy
For dessert, I'll settle for a graham cracker.

Froggymama
I'll get started on that.

Froggy
Make it quick, Sesame Street is on in five.

End of play

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

hilarious! jcn

Casey said...

LOL!!!! Funny! :) :)

froggyaunt said...

Make enough for me!!! FA
I cast my vote for Froggy's menu.