I Don't Need No Stinkin' Vegetables

An imagined play between Froggymama and Froggy. It's entitled:

I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' VEGETABLES!

or the alternative title

TU MAMA, THE SUCKER

Froggy

I am not, I repeat, I am NOT eating my vegetables.

Froggymama

Mommy loves vegetables.

Froggy

Then you eat them.

Froggymama

Kiwi, do you like kiwi?

Froggy

Depends.

Froggymama

On what?

Froggy

What's in it for me.

Froggymama

Health, a good diet, strong bones.

Froggy

Kiwi won't give me strong bones, that's calcium. You think I was born yesterday, lady?

Froggymama

How about avocado, you love avocado.

Froggy

Not today.

Froggymama

Why not?

Froggymama

It's not really an avocado kind of day. Ya know?

Froggymama

What do you want to eat?

Froggy

I'd like to start with a watercress and walnut salad in a light raspberry vinagrette. We'll then move on to seared Alaskan Salmon, not Pacific or farm-raised, ALASKAN!, drizzled with a cucumber dill sauce, and a nice sourdough baguet for dipping. From there, let's dine on slightly braised white asparagus in rice vinegar, and a couscous raisin side, with just a touch of mint.

Froggymama

Anything else?

Froggy

For dessert, I'll settle for a graham cracker.

Froggymama

I'll get started on that.

Froggy

Make it quick, Sesame Street is on in five.

End of play