Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Men Are From Mars, And It's Time They Go Home - a short play

After a tough morning of every-man-for-himself, this was a real conversation between Froggydaddy and myself. By tough morning, I mean, we're both not feeling well. FD has a major toothache (probably in need of a root canal). I have had a sinus infection that has spread to my ears, and we both desperately needed sleep. Froggy, however, was WIDE awake at 6am. So for the next hour in bed, FD and I played the pathetic game of "who is more sick."

Meanwhile Froggy is leaping over us in bed, screaming for Buddy to join in, by slapping her knee and yelling "BUUUUUEYYYYY, BUUUUUEEEYYYY." Finally, FD looked over at me with the most Charlie Brown look I've ever seen and he said, "please?" So up we went. FD is always so great about getting up with Froggy in the morning. It's his favorite part of the day, and they usually let me sleep an extra hour. I figured he deserved the rest...until he awoke at 10am and...


MEN ARE FROM MARS - AND IT'S TIME THEY GO HOME.

The baby has been fed and quietly naps, the dishes are done, kitchen swept, respiratory treatment finished, dog walked, and it's only 10am.

Froggymama enters from the outside door. She carries a load of laundry. Froggydaddy enters the room in a towel. His hair is wet, and he knocks the water out of his ears.

Froggymama: I'm really not trying to complain...

Froggydaddy: Yeah?

Froggydaddy begins to roll his eyes, but changes strategies. He remembers his wife let him sleep in, even though she's very, very, very sick. It's a smart move. And Froggymama, like a praying mantis retreats a step.

Froggymama: Your shoes were in front of the door again.

Froggydaddy: Oh.

Froggymama: They're always in front of the door...everyday.

Froggydaddy: Hmmm.

Froggymama: Can you put them along the wall, so I don't step on them?

Froggydaddy ponders this HUGE inconvenience, so rudely asked of him.

Froggymama: Everyday I trip over your enormous shoes. Everyday.

Froggydaddy: You'd think by now you would've learned to step over them.

A long beat, while Froggymama is caught somewhere inbetween laughing or with one swift kick, knocking this cowboy back to Mars where he obviously belongs.

Froggymama: You are soooo going in my blog today.

End of play.

4 comments:

Casey said...

ROFLMAO! Oh my gosh - this is too funny and I say that in the funny "ha ha" way and also in the "ironically my partner and I have this exact conversation with various things taking the place of shoes - though shoes are often in the deal, too."

I love your blog. :)

Anonymous said...

(applause)"encore, encore!" gpg

Anonymous said...

ditto on the encore...and this sounds so familiar!!!! jcn

Jefferson said...

Boy, if that was really your only response, you are soooo my heartthrob of the moment.