Thursday, December 04, 2008

Three is the new Two

Someone told me once that taking care of a toddler is a lot like taking care of your drunk best friend. The similarities are uncanny - they're both unpredictable, irritable, emotional, one minute laughing, the next crying and saying things like "I love you man!, or I love you mom." They're both prone to spontaneous projectile vomiting, and usually just need to sleep it off.

Take today for example. Froggy threw a barbie at my head. It hurt. I yelled "Owww," because seriously, those barbie hands are like micro machetes. Froggy hot-tailed it down the hallway. She knew a time-out was in order. I carried the little stinker kicking and screaming into the time out chair, where she kicked me hard in the side. I knew better than to go head to head with little Medea, so I tried some "emotion coaching." It had been a long day of "really trying to piss off mommy," so I figured something emotional was going on. I said, "I know you're upset, and really angry. Huh?" She started to calm down, so I continued, "It's not okay to throw Barbie at Mommy's head is it?" And I must say that was hard to say without laughing. "And it's not okay to kick Mommy, no matter how angry you are."

And then she did something miraculous, she agreed with me. She said, "Yeah," and kind of hung her head. I said, "We're just having a hard time today," and she said, "Yeah."

I made her stay in time out, then held her and we hugged.

Froggy doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but the last few weeks have been difficult. I told my mom it's like she has baby PMS. My mom, the queen of puns said, "No, she has 3MS."

If you've ever sat for Froggy, you know that she can be a challenge. And by challenge, I mean, after a couple hours you're ready for that vasectomy. No, I'm kidding, But she is determined, busy, fast, stubborn, creative, and yes, prone to naughtiness.

Froggy has also decided that FD can no longer give her meds, do treatment, get her dressed, change a diaper, or anything else that falls under the category of "giving Mommy a freaking break." This stage is rough, but because God is fair, she is also incredibly funny.

So for your enjoyment, here are some fabulous Froggyisms...

Yesterday, Froggy was being naughty and not listening to me. So I sat her down and said very seriously, "You listen to your mother!" She looked me right in the eyes and said with equal intensity, "You are not my mother!"

While trying to cook dinner last night, Froggy, the dog, and the cats, were underfoot. I said exasperated, "I just need some SPACE!" Froggy wiggled in front of me, stuck her little butt out, and said, "I NEED some space!"

And last but not least, while putting a puzzle together, I held up a piece in the shape of a harmonica and asked, "What instrument is this?" To which Froggy replied, "A SantaMonica."


Alicia said...

Oh, she is too fun. I hear so many CF moms talk about their angelic CF children and think, "Why didn't my daughter's gene include sweetness?" The recent Froggy sounds much more like my Samantha!

DutchMac said...

I hear ya with the need-a-crowbar-to-surgically-remove-this-child-from-my-hip dilemma! I suppose eventually we'll look back on these as 'the good ole days' but for right now, they're the 'drive Mommy freakin insane' days.

Nice to know others are suffering in the same boat...we can keep each other company on the journey to the funny farm :-)

Anonymous said...

Oh, so TRUE!!!! We finished a tantrum to end all tanrtums just a little while ago. It included not only hitting mommy and kicking mommy and pushing mommy....but also throwing an Elmo slipper at Mommy's head. (Luckily, no daggers on fuzzy red Elmo slippers).

It ended with some hugs and kiddes and grudging "I'm sorry's" - but also no "Emily TV" for the rest of the day.... So, do you know what the little bugger is doing now? She suddenly decided she LOVES to watch mom's cooking shows - just to spite me.

Three is the new two around here too. And Alicia - I think the majority of CF'ers have a fair amount of spunk, so you are not alone. CF in our house seems to stand for "Constantly Fighting."

mom to Emily
3 w?cf

Anonymous said...

My signature should have said 3/cf...since there is no question that she has it!


Anonymous said...

Lately Max prefers his dad. I was getting in some nice snuggle time last night and then dad showed up to join us for some cartoon watching. Sigh! And he TATTLES on me -- I was vacuuming and he stood right in the way on purpose and then ran and told his dad I TOUCHED him with the vacuum. Stinker!

As for spunk, after telling him he needed to go potty before leaving to meet relatives for dinner, Max stormed into the bathroom and said to his dad "How many times do I have to tell you...!" Was hard to keep a straight face.

Figure their outgoing attitude will serve them well in the future.

Liza aka Ratatosk from the CF forum
Mom to max age 5 1/2 wcf

Princess Talana said...

Loved this post :) Especially the first paragraph. Thanks for your comment on my post about being "patriotic" and voting for Obama. And to think I had more than one college professor ask me who I managed to graduate high school, let alone think I could be a teacher with my lack of writing skills.

Cara said...

Oh, how Froggy makes me laugh! I know that a naughty 8 month old puppy probably doesn't compare to a sometimes naughty 3 year old, but I can only imagine how much trouble our two "kids" would get into together! :)

Can you tell I've been a little behind on my blog commenting? I just attacked the comment section of your blog at full force.