Someone told me once that taking care of a toddler is a lot like taking care of your drunk best friend. The similarities are uncanny - they're both unpredictable, irritable, emotional, one minute laughing, the next crying and saying things like "I love you man!, or I love you mom." They're both prone to spontaneous projectile vomiting, and usually just need to sleep it off.
Take today for example. Froggy threw a barbie at my head. It hurt. I yelled "Owww," because seriously, those barbie hands are like micro machetes. Froggy hot-tailed it down the hallway. She knew a time-out was in order. I carried the little stinker kicking and screaming into the time out chair, where she kicked me hard in the side. I knew better than to go head to head with little Medea, so I tried some "emotion coaching." It had been a long day of "really trying to piss off mommy," so I figured something emotional was going on. I said, "I know you're upset, and really angry. Huh?" She started to calm down, so I continued, "It's not okay to throw Barbie at Mommy's head is it?" And I must say that was hard to say without laughing. "And it's not okay to kick Mommy, no matter how angry you are."
And then she did something miraculous, she agreed with me. She said, "Yeah," and kind of hung her head. I said, "We're just having a hard time today," and she said, "Yeah."
I made her stay in time out, then held her and we hugged.
Froggy doesn't have a mean bone in her body, but the last few weeks have been difficult. I told my mom it's like she has baby PMS. My mom, the queen of puns said, "No, she has 3MS."
If you've ever sat for Froggy, you know that she can be a challenge. And by challenge, I mean, after a couple hours you're ready for that vasectomy. No, I'm kidding, But she is determined, busy, fast, stubborn, creative, and yes, prone to naughtiness.
Froggy has also decided that FD can no longer give her meds, do treatment, get her dressed, change a diaper, or anything else that falls under the category of "giving Mommy a freaking break." This stage is rough, but because God is fair, she is also incredibly funny.
So for your enjoyment, here are some fabulous Froggyisms...
Yesterday, Froggy was being naughty and not listening to me. So I sat her down and said very seriously, "You listen to your mother!" She looked me right in the eyes and said with equal intensity, "You are not my mother!"
While trying to cook dinner last night, Froggy, the dog, and the cats, were underfoot. I said exasperated, "I just need some SPACE!" Froggy wiggled in front of me, stuck her little butt out, and said, "I NEED some space!"
And last but not least, while putting a puzzle together, I held up a piece in the shape of a harmonica and asked, "What instrument is this?" To which Froggy replied, "A SantaMonica."