I don't think there is anything more stressful and heartbreaking than being in the middle of a crisis and having no control over the outcome. It's like watching a tornado overhead, and hoping that when it touches down there is something left of the house.
I want something I can't have. But today after a moment of clarity and sadness I realized that like most things, it's not up to me.
In my life, my career, my marriage, my child, no amount of hard work or dedication can fix what's broken. I can't convince the tornado to turn around and choose another house. Somethings just are. And as tao or accepting as that sounds. It just really sucks.